FBI:  What they really do with their resources.

The FBI has long kept its secrets close to its heart.  Never before has it been revealed where exactly they get their finance from.  Well, we have in our possession inside information from sources close to the top and we are going to tell all.

The FBI gets its money by buying old run down shops for next to nothing and then they turn it into either a 7-11 or a KFC.  Yes thats right!
The FBI own 7 11 and KFC.  It is also rumoured that they own France but we dont have enough proof yet.  If you dont believe us watch closely the next time you see a KFC opening. Look at the builders, they all wear black suits and black sunglasses and there is always a big black car parked out back.  What more proof do you need?

The FBI was also responsible for crazy glue and rubic cubes, an early attempt at mind control.  Currently they are working on refining the receipy for Coke-Cola.  Its what they use to track us.  Its easy to tell because the fizz always goes up your noise and thats how they do it.  Pepsi is the choice of the free generation.

-article supplied by a small man in a long black cloak who answers to the name of Man who hides in shadows!